Pokemon - GUTS EDITION

I was walking down the street in my favorite rocket ship when I noticed the pile. I called it the pile because it was a pile... of ''the'''s. I decided to pick up a couple ''the'''s because they sold for quite a lot at the grand exchange in Runescape, but under the odd, sentient words was a game cartridge for the nintendo 3ds advance boy color. I picked it up, and on the cartridge it said "Pokemon: uts Edition". One of the letters was chipped off.
"Pokemon Uts?!?!!? SOUNDS NEW!!!!" I screeched, piercing my own eardrums.
I ran home, being hit by about 14 cars because I was deaf. When I put the 2-foot cartridge into my nintendo 3ds advance boy color reshiram edition, I noticed something. After being hit by 14 cars, I was sort of hurt. I shrugged it off. Turning on the game, I noticed that the title screen was missing. I was utterly disgusted and had to go to the bathroom to drink toilet water and calm myself down. After that, I checked my Pokemon. They were all bloody and sad and beat up. I shrugged it off. However, I noticed something utterly horrifying. My Bulbasaur knew Rock Slide.
"BULBASAUR CAN'T LEARN ROCK SLIDE!" I screamed, utterly horrified and disgusted.
After I cleaned up my vomit, I continued the game. Everything went like normal until lavender town. WHEN I WAS THERE, MY POKEMON WERE RIPPED UP AND THEIR GUTS WERE SPILLING OUT! I shrugged it off.
That's when I realized. Coming out of my speakers... was... POISON!!!!! To stop the poison from burning my cuticles, I began ripping out my various organs and putting them into the cartridge slot. I checked, and my cuticles were fine!
Then a skeleton jumped out. (Of my skin because all that was in it was a skeleton)